So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
