ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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