Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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