I am in a vortex of obligation.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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