I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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