wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
