dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
