yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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