3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
