So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
