i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
