kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
