she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
