Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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