he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
