Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
