I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
