I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
