You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
