Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
