I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
