All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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