yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i believe in u and ur pee
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
