Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
