Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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