weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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