so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My dick has a subreddit
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
