Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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