I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
