he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
