Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
