Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
