come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
