??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
