Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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