I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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