How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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