idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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