last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
