You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
