I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
