i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
