We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
