I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
