Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
sex in a hospital.. check
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
