What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
