my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
