I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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