Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
