This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think your dad took our porno
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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